You know how sometimes one song or one band suddenly and surprisingly succeeds at encapsulating your entire complicated state of mind? In other words, ever have that moment when you’re listening to a song and all you can say is, “Yaaaas”? Sometimes a certain song reminds you of a certain person, or recalls a memory that you never get sick of remembering. Those first few notes sound, and – all in an instant – the words of the songs that you listened to as a child or a young adult come flooding back in one great, wonderful wave of memory and nostalgia and thought.

Other times, a chord may play, and you may think of something you don’t want to be thinking about. That song associated with that one person who broke your heart ages ago. That melody about death or loss or distance that makes you tear up every time. Those lyrics that cut you to the quick.

Are instances like these necessarily good or bad? I don’t think so. I think memory is strongly tied to sound, and to music in general. Memory is a complex thing. Thinking back too much on the past can have negative effects when one refuses to move beyond into the present, but thinking too little on the lessons of ages and peoples before now can be negative as well.

I will now spend a brief period of time searching for the proper quote to explain this strange phenomenon of remembering and yet not wanting to remember:

“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” Lewis B. Smedes.

“People don’t realize that now is all there ever is; there is no past or future except as memory or anticipation in your mind.” Eckhart Tolle.

I really like this “quote of the post” thing. I might make it a usual thing to tie every post to a specific quote or phrase.

But I digress. I like both of these quotes, each for different reasons that I don’t have the time to get into now. Maybe later? Also known as, probably never. Well, when I look back on this in a few years, maybe it’ll make me think of something – that is, if I can get past all the cringe-worthy moments related to my style, structure, and attitude right now.

I find my writing style increasingly strange as these posts go on. I have a very lengthy, wordy, stream-of-consciousness style when it comes to language. Why, exactly? I don’t know. Perhaps because I want to make as much use of the English language as I can, and there are so many words to capture in so few moments. Even if human beings were to speak constantly, every moment of every day of a lifetime; would we be using the language to its full extent? Are we really appreciating the depth, the complexity, the beauty of it all?